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Quite often, we are unaware that we follow unwritten rules every day of our lives. Whether it’s at home, at work, with our family and friends or in social situations. Perhaps we follow rules that we have learnt to follow because they are expected of us, or we think that this is what is expected of us! Perhaps these rules that we have learned to follow are to help us to fit in or feel accepted.

Sometimes these rules are so deeply embedded that we have no awareness of them or even realise that we are following rules. Often these rules take away our choice and our power without us realising.

Do I Have a Choice?

It’s great to realise that we can choose the rules that we are going to follow. How empowering to know that we can decide on our own rules! Rules that support us and take us to where we want to be be, rules that support and nourish us, rules that truly help us to live a real and authentic life.

These rules could be called habits. They have become part of our daily routines and may be as simple as ‘I have to wash up after dinner’ or they may be more complex and actually impact our behaviours and how we feel about ourselves; ‘If I’m not good at this, people won’t like me’.

How to Change my Rules to Support me?

The first thing is to start to become aware. Awareness of your own rules is the start of the journey to learning what can go and what supports you. Start to be aware of your motivations for actions you take. Is to to please you? Do you really have to do it? Is it to please others? Is it an unwritten rule that has no basis? What are your thoughts about this rule?

Really explore the ‘why’ of your actions, particularly if intuitively you feel or notice a little discomfort around any activity or you feel resistance to what you are doing.

Perhaps it’s time to take a good look at those self-imposed rules: question and challenge them. Do they serve any useful purpose? Do you really need them?

What rule might support you instead?

Ought, Should, Must!

How many times a day do you say or thing to yourself that you ‘ought’ ‘should’ or ‘must’ do something? Are these words part of your language?

These words are based on obligation in stead of choice. Obligations that are often imposed on us by other’s ideals, society or convention. They are rarely our own rules that we have created to support us.

Start to listen out for those words. You may even have the voice of someone pop into your head when you are saying these words to yourself. Really start to challenge yourself. Who says I must? Are these real? What would happen if I didn’t do this?

Changing my Rules

Perhaps start to challenge and question your daily activities and see whether they give you clues to the rules you live by. You may want to journal as this can be helpful in understanding rules that have become part of your behaviour. It’s a good way of tapping into some of those unconscious thoughts and patterns.

Perhaps start to look for patterns that actually you know you do but you are not sure why. You may want to journal and ask yourself what are the rules that will support you going forward ensuring that you are living with joy and a fulfilled life.

What are the rules that constrain you? Hold you back? Create fear?

Those rules that cause a response of worry, anxiety, feeling a failure or shame, they are not your real true rules. They are rules that control you in some way, perhaps they meet someone else’s need but not yours. These about trying to ensure that you conform. It’s time to let those rules go!

My Rules

Breathe deeply into your heart and connect with you. Be real with yourself. Find the rules that will support and nurture you and intuitively feel right for you.

Here are mine:

• I prioritise my health
• My opinion of me is more important than anyone else’s
• Its ok to take time out and make space for my self-care and nurturing
• I live by my truth and treat everyone with kindness
• I will challenge and support myself to be the best I can be
• I will notice opportunities that help me to make a difference to others

Exercises and Journaling

I’ve asked a lot of questions during the blog – you may want to explore your answers to those as a starting point. Or have a go at the following journaling prompts. What ever feels right for you.

• When you find yourself doing something or behaving in a certain way and it doesn’t feel fully authentic, become aware. Start to ask yourself the following questions:

• Is this someone else’s rule?
  • Where did this rule come from?
  • Does this rule take me to where I want to go?
  • How does this rule make me feel?
  • Can I feel resistance here?
  • Is it time to let this one go?
  • What rule would support you better?
  • What rule reflects you & your authenticity?

• Journal:
  • The 5 rules that support me are
  • The rules to let go of are

Be very real here and ask yourself, what rules will support you in being your most radiant and real self?

Much Love

Jennifer

xxx

Do you sometimes feel as if you are really in the zone, knowing that you are doing just what’s right for you?

 Feeling full of joy, full of energy?

That real buzz of achieving and almost not wanting to stop?

Does that happen to you?

Or do you feel as if you are stuck where you are or even going backwards at times?

We intuitively know what’s right for us. We intuitively know what takes us forward and what holds us back.

It’s all about discernment and, connecting with yourself and beginning to understand and know yourself.

How to Learn to Go Forward?

Discern what takes you forward and what keeps you stuck or takes you backwards or away from where you really want to be.

The way forward will always be presented to you. There are always opportunities available to you.

Start to become aware of how you respond to these opportunities. Do you ignore or make valid excuses for moving past an opportunity?

Perhaps you have no awareness of those opportunities at all and need to learn to see them again?

It’s very simple. The way we respond to what’s happening around us either takes us forward or it doesn’t.

Responding one way takes me forward.

Reacting this way takes me back.

Behaving like this keeps me stuck.

It’s a choice.

We just need to bring our awareness to those choices.

Are they patterns of behaviour that perhaps have become habits?

Does choosing this take me forward?

Does choosing this take me backwards or nowhere?

Keep asking yourself these questions as you make decisions during your day.

Does this take me towards where I want to be?

Does this take me away from where I want?

Does this take me to my real and authentic self?

Does this take me to the path I want to be on?

Discernment

Learn to be discerning. It’s like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it becomes. Keep going with what takes you forwards that’s how you know the way. Once you become aware, you will soon realise that you are being shown lots of opportunities for growth.

We are continually shown the way.

Tune into it.

Feel it.

Notice what’s being offered to you.

Notice your responses.

Stop buying into the ‘old self’ the ‘old ways’ and the ‘old reactions. Be absolutely honest with yourself about what takes you forward into your light, forward into your radiance.

Live by what makes you radiant and real. It’s presented to you, and you can make the choice.  Discern on it so that you are only going forward.

Journal

Breath in & down through your heart centre then have a go at some of these journaling questions. You may want to journal some of the earlier questions in this blog. Let your intuition guide.

Just let the words flow.

What normally stops me going forward?

How do I stop myself going forward?

What supports me in going forward?

I can let go of old behaviours that hold me back by

I want to stop doing

I can go forward by

I can change my response to opportunities by

I want to keep doing

I’ll know what’s right for me because

I will know I’m on the right path when

With Love

Jennifer

xxx

My Forest Bathing Experience: Immersion in Nature

Last week I spent a magical week immersed in nature as I finished my training to become a Forest Bathing Guide. It was a wonderfully calming time really connecting with nature and allowing space to just be….and breath!

So Where did Forest Bathing Come From?

Forest Bathing originated in Japan. During the 1980’s the Japanese Government became increasingly worried about the stress and other mental health issues arising, so they began extensive research into the health benefits of spending time in nature.

Millions of people in Japan are using Forest Bathing now or Shinrin-Yoku as its known there and it is now prescribed in certain areas by their NHS equivalent to ensure greater health!

What is Forest Bathing?

Immersing yourself in the forest and soaking up the atmosphere of the forest using the senses and mindfulness techniques. It involves walking slowly through woodland connecting with nature using the five senses, bringing your own body’s rhythms in to sync with natures rhythms. Doing this allows us to tap into all the potential benefits of Forest Bathing.

What are the Benefits?

There’s been lots of international research into the benefits of Forest Bathing. The results show an amazing array of potential benefits…

A reduction in blood pressure, lowering stress, improving cardiovascular and metabolic health, balancing blood sugar levels, lifting depression. Improved energy. Boosting the immune system…this for me was the interesting one from an anti-cancer perspective…these ancient forests produce chemicals that can help your immune system increase the body’s NK (natural killer) cells, plus so much more!

I’ve experienced some of these benefits myself…such a feeling of calmness of peace and finding balance again. I felt renewed and more resilient, able to deal with anything thrown at me.  I also experienced a release and letting go of sadness. A sadness that I stored that I had stored for a long time – time with the forest & nature, becoming one with the rhythms allowed healing, allowed the flow and release of this stored sadness. There were tears and there was release. I felt so wonderful and calm afterwards. I also noticed the difference in my energy – I felt a level of vitality that I hadn’t noticed for a while (probably since I was last in the forest!). A week in the forest did this for me, energy for walking, deep breathing and a sense of real peace!

All this from spending time in the forest amongst the trees – no wonder the Japanese started prescribing forest bathing sessions for their patients’!

Why did I want to be a Forest Bathing Guide?

After the cancer diagnosis, the surgeries & treatments, I was intuitively drawn to nature and to gentle walks. As soon as I was able to get out and about, the forest was my go to place to settle my fears and anxieties, to calm my body and re-establish my equilibrium. At that time, I didn’t know the science behind why it was so good for me – I just knew I felt better physically and mentally and was able to cope with the difficult conversations and the unpleasant treatments. It was my own medicine for recovery without knowing the science of why nature was so good for me. When I did find out more – I knew I had to train to be a Forest Bathing Guide and share this with others.

Wood Wide Web (not the World wide web)

This blew my mind when I found out about the connectivity of the ancient forests. The trees in a forest create a network underground, their root systems, aided by fungus, create a huge underground network so that they can feed and nourish each other all year around. They are also able to use this network to warn each other of danger> They do this by sending out signals across the wood wide web. Mother trees can recognise their saplings and send nutrients to help them to grow. This amazing connectivity means that the older the forest, the more established the wood wide web and the greater benefits for us when we spend time within this community.

My Experience: Reflections after a week in the Forest

As part of my training, I spent a week in ancient woodlands. I very quickly noticed changes in me –physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I felt so peaceful and calm and at one with my surroundings. I truly connected with the natural rhythm of nature, rising early with the sun (normally I struggle to wake ang get out of bed!), sleeping deeply in the dark. It was as if my body was drawing me to the structure of my days that best suited me. Drawing me to the natural rhythm of the forest around me. Showing me how the forest could heal – showing me the benefits. I felt the calmness of my body, I had space to sit and breath and just be. I felt such an increase in my energy levels. My body was truly showing me the benefits of time with nature and connecting with the forest.

My Life as a Forest Bathing Guide.

Having experienced such wonderful benefits myself, I love sharing the magic of the forests, helping others to feel what I feel when I immerse myself amongst the trees. The feelings of peace, of joy and deep rest. I was intuitively drawn to the forests to support my healing. Now that I know the science behind it, I realise that listening to my body was key – the ancient wisdom of the forest and the healing properties of nature re there for us to enjoy. I find so much joy sharing this with others, sharing the sheer wonder of connecting and immersing the body in nature. The calmness the peace that descends – the beauty. The ease with which our bodies connect. It feels as if our bodies were meant to tap into the ancient wisdom & healing

Things for you to try in the forest:

• Walk slowly becoming aware of all that you can see, perhaps the sun, the path ahead, the colours, the leaves, the light and shade etc. Do this for about 10 minutes
• Slow down and take deep breaths – breathing in those healing chemicals that the forests share with each other.
• Now walk slowly again becoming aware of all that you can hear – perhaps the breeze, the crunch of your feet on the path ahead, the movement of the trees and leaves, the sound of birds and insects etc. Do this for about 10 minutes
• Really allow your body to sink into the awareness around you. Make sure that you are breathing deeply and comfortable throughout the exercise. If your mind wonders (well that’s what minds do!) knowing that’s ok and just gently bringing it back to the senses. Just being quiet, just noticing what’s there.
• Continue your walk or time in the forest noticing what you become aware of, perhaps you become aware of things that you haven’t noticed before. Perhaps becoming aware of how your body feels. Perhaps noticing differences in how you feel now compared to how your felt before.

Enjoy!

Much Love

Jennifer

.

I went for a coffee yesterday at a local café with some friends and we started talking about why women compare themselves to other women. Two of us were in our fifties, one of us was in her twenties and the other in her thirties.  

We realised that it happens all around us, comparisons sometimes being made resulting in competition, trying to outdo each other rather than offering support. I suppose my focus has always been to lift other women, to celebrate them, show them how amazing they are and what possibilities are available to them. 

Interestingly, recently I was part of a sister circle and found myself making comparisons with one woman who seems to have the perfect lifestyle, she always looks immaculate, and she is so articulate at expressing herself. I found that I was comparing myself and making negative judgements about me.  

Why would I do that to myself?  

I told my friends over coffee about this. Firstly, they were surprised as this isn’t like me. One of my friends stated that it is a form of self-bullying! An interesting thought! Another friend said that in the past, this situation would have made her feel as if she wasn’t good enough if she was around a woman she perceived as ‘perfect’. The youngest of our group admitted she had set herself up in competition to prove that she was ‘better’ than other women.  

Are these common traits? 

Why aren’t we celebrating ourselves and other women? Why do we feel this need to compare ourselves to others? Why do women feel the need to change their behaviours or suppress themselves based on comparison?  

I began to wonder after our conversation if we all must find our place to fit in, or can we create that place ourselves. I feel that we have our own authority to be the person we want to be and to create the life we want. For me, it is about giving ourself permission to do this. Comparisons keep us small, undermining our confidence and stop us from expanding. 

I suppose we come back to our thinking and whether our thoughts are taking us to where we want to be. Thinking that we are not as beautiful, talented or spiritual as another women is embedding some very negative suggestions. The following thoughts are much more empowering: I am beautiful in my own right. I am an individual. I celebrate my success. 

Why do we compare ourselves to others and how can we stop?  

Perhaps women are looking how to define themselves, perhaps that definition can only be made by comparison to another? Surely this is a destructive way of understanding who we are and how we need to be in the world? There are times I suppose when a comparison might be helpful. When we see a role-model, someone we aspire to be like. This can provide us with a blueprint of who we want to be. Mostly it seems to be a way of seeing another woman in a positive light and ourselves in a negative way.  

Here’s some techniques for stopping comparisons: 

• Listen to the voice of your inner critic. What does it sound like? Give it a name. Now focus on changing this voice into a voice that you can’t take seriously. Mickey Mouse? A comedian? Whatever works for you. This takes away the power of your inner critic.  

• Be your own best friend! Speak to yourself as you speak to your friends. Perhaps become more aware. What do you say to your friends to boost and support them? Do you speak to yourself in the same way?  

• Start to honour yourself. Show others the respect you have for yourself. Help others to see the power of this honouring. Change the inner voice to one that focuses on your strengths and builds you up. Learn to interrupt those negative words. Focus on what is important to you and move towards that. Recognise that all of your experiences, wisdom and knowing have brought you to where you are today and that you have so much to offer to other women. Embrace who you are to show other women what is possible. Light the way for them.  

You may want to do some journaling around this subject. 

• I am proud of all I have achieved 

• I totally accept me as I am now  
• I let go of expectations  
• I will express myself and shine  

Remember, you are on the path that is right for you now, you can be grateful for all that is in this moment and all that it gives to you. You can give yourself permission to be you and embrace all that is, AND nobody is you! That my beautiful is your superpower! 

Much love 

Jennifer 

Just checking in. How are you beautiful? 

Is it time to renew your daily self-care? 

Where are you caring for yourself and where have you forgotten you? 

Take a breath. Breath deeply into your soul. Breath deeply into the deepest part of you. Allow the stillness to settle. 

Could you be kinder to yourself? Are you still putting yourself under pressure? Where could you allow more? Where could you slow down? Where could you be kinder to yourself? 

What have you done this week just for you? Cultivating self-care can sometimes be something we push to the bottom of our to do list. We can sometimes give it less importance than all those chores we suddenly find so important.  

Remember how important you are too.  

Forgive yourself if you only tend to your needs when everything else has been ticked off the list. Forgive yourself if you feel you are not worthy or deserving.  

Its time to give yourself some attention. Its time to allow yourself to receive self-care too. That means accepting you for all that you are, treating yourself with the compassion you heap onto others.  

Focus on your needs. Focus inwards. Listen. What would give you joy in this moment? What would bring pleasure to your day? What stops you from following this desire? Can you silence the voice of your inner critic and focus on your own pleasure? You deserve this. 

Hold your hand to your heart 

Bless yourself for all your past mistakes, remember your triumphs. 

Bless yourself and the actions you’ve taken, the decisions you made that bring you to now.  

Bless the woman you have been, the woman you are now and the woman you aspire to be. 

Bless yourself for allowing yourself the time to read this message.  

Bless yourself for the time you give yourself for these messages to land 

Bless yourself for your strength and resilience 

Bless all the parts of you of you that make you you 

Some journaling for you to consider to support your self-care practices. Just fill in the words where there is a question mark. Allowing whatever words need to flow. Afterwards when there are no more words to come, have a look at what you have written and go back to my questions.  

• Self-care means what?
• I feel nurtured when?
• I feel out of control when?  
• I need more of something in my life 
• The favourite way to spend my day is? 
• What is stopping me from practicing self-care daily 
• I feel happy at home when? 
• What will help me to overcome obstacles stopping my self care
• The best time to practice my self-care is? 

Is it time to renew your self-care? What changes are you going to make? 

Love, acceptance and self-care is your birth right. 

Much love 

Jennifer 

After my cancer diagnosis, I decided to re-evaluate my habits and turn those that were unhealthy into healthy ones and support those that were already healthy! 

However, to start with, I tried to change everything – all in one go! I suppose a life-threatening event can create that knee-jerk reaction. My initial response had been fear and panic, and the need to change everything, but I went for a walk and gave myself a good talking to. Does anyone else do that? Is it just me?  

I realised that I already had techniques for letting go of old habits and establishing new ones. I knew the best ways to embed the new habits that I wanted, and to ensure that they stayed with me; so that’s exactly what I did. 

Have you ever started a new routine or daily activity only to find that it becomes harder to keep it going? You start well, then you miss a day, and a few excuses creep in? Before you know it, a week has passed, then a month, and the new habit is forgotten. 

I’ve been told in the past that it takes 21 days to embed a new habit so that it becomes part of your daily routine. There have been times though when I’ve struggled to reach the 21 days. However, there are techniques to creating new habits and sticking to them!  

But first, consider: 

1. Is this really a habit you want to take on: are you motivated to do it?  

Sometimes, we try too hard to do something that we think we ‘should be’ doing, rather than asking ourselves if it brings us true wellbeing.  

2. Out of 10, how committed are you to really forming this as a new habit? 

If the answer is below 10, explore what you need to do to make your commitment a 10. 

Ready to take on a new habit? Here’s my technique  

• Exporing your habit. Identify a habit that you want to change, and explore it.  
   

When do you do this habit? Are there triggers or certain emotions that cause you to do this habit? What is the response?  

Sometimes when we find it tougher to let go of a particular habit, it can be because there is a perceived gain, such as emotional comfort when eating chocolate. Use your journal to really explore this habit. Find out as much as you can. 

Once you have greater awareness, you can choose other ways to meet that need. If you need comfort, instead of eating chocolate, you may decide to chat to a friend, hug your partner, eat something healthy that nourishes your body and tastes good.  

• Replace an unhealthy habit with a new behaviour.  

When you feel like giving into a habit, first stop yourself. Take a deep breath counting in for 3 seconds and out for 3 seconds. Do this a few times. It gives you the space to break an automatic pattern. This is the key to breaking old habits and creating new ones. Break the automatic response.  

Having given yourself some breathing space (literally) you can choose to do something different instead of your usual automatic response. Congratulate yourself on your new choice. 

• Harness the power of visualisations.  

If you are struggling to let go of an old habit and bring in a new one, start to visualise the changing habit. Every time you get a few minutes during the day, imagine the old habit changing into the new habit. How does it feel? What do you notice? What are you saying to yourself? What can you see as you change to your new habit? Involve your senses as much as you can. Have fun with it! 

• Consider visual cues.  

If I want to make sure I went to my yoga or pilates class, I leave the bag with my mat and blocks by the front door so I have to walk past it a few times a day. Consider any other cues, such as an image on your phone or laptop, alarms, stick it notes on the mirror, asking a friend to call you or a note on the fridge. 

• Confide in a buddy who can support you 

 I call them an ‘accountability partner’. Someone you trust to support you in achieving your new goal or habit and someone who will challenge your excuses! 

• Hang a new habit off an already established habit  

If you want to do a morning mindfulness session, and you already have the routine or habit of a morning cup of tea or coffee, hang your new mindfulness session off the established habit. As the new habit becomes more linked to the old, you’ll find it becomes easier to follow the new habit. Use your established routines to support your new habit. 

• Start small. 

 Deciding to cut out sugar, drink 4 pints of water every day, do a 30 minute walk every morning before work, do 10 mins meditation every evening before bed, use the sauna twice a week and start a new regime of supplements all on day one is too much for anyone! It is putting yourself under too much pressure. Remember some amazing gains can be made with minor changes. Just by changing some of our small daily routines and gradually bringing in self-care practices we can change our mindset & our body. Just be patient & give yourself the time you need. 

• Pay attention to your self-talk. 

 Is it negative or positive? Does it support your new habit or undermine it? Remember to reframe any negative thinking with thoughts such as ‘I’m doing well’, ‘I’m making progress’. Focus on what you have achieved, not what you haven’t achieved. 

• Are you using the word ‘must’?  

This word usually comes from a habit already in place, realise that it isn’t a done deal, and you can re-negotiate with a ‘must’. If you have a habit of checking your work emails on your days off, you may want to change that habit to give yourself a proper break from work. Where is the must? ‘I must deal with all my emails as soon as they arrive’. ‘I must make sure I know everything going on even on my days off’, ‘I must be in control’, ‘I must clear all of my emails in my inbox daily’. Who says you must do this? Re-negotiate or try a different behaviour. Start it as an experiment and see what happens. Usually, the new behaviour helps you to realise your must is nothing more than a habit! 

• Accept not all days are good  Be ok with that. Accept yourself, there is no judgement or expectation. Tomorrow is another day. 

Remember to celebrate your success.  

Acknowledge what you have achieved and give yourself rewards along the way. Focus on your progress and celebrate in a way that supports and encourages you. Here are some ideas: 

• Write a letter of gratitude to yourself 
• Go for a walk in nature 
• Have a long & indulgent bath 
• Give yourself a shout out on social media 
• Take a day off and visit a favourite place 
• Share with friends and family 
• Write down your success and put it somewhere so that you can see it every day
• Give yourself the gift of some extra time to do something you enjoy 
• Thank everyone who supported you, including yourself  

You can do this, whenever you bring something positive into being you are coming closer to your authentic self & letting go of the layers that are not real. No matter what old habits you let go of or the new ones you cultivate, you are coming closer to being authentic you. 

Much love 

Jennifer 

This week I joined a conversation about self-love. It set me thinking. 

How often do you pay attention to the needs of your body or focus on what it does for you every day? Do you ignore it? Do you take your body for granted? Find that you are too busy for your self-care practices? Criticise or make judgement about imperfections? 

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. I think back to my twenties and the poor food choices, the late nights, the lack of awareness and care.  

I’m 58 years old now, 5 years clear of breast cancer. I have never felt healthier. I feel connected to my body, and I allow it to guide much of what I do. Nobody knows my body and it’s needs more than my body! I’m forever amazed by all that it does for me!  

So, when was the last time your praised that amazing body of yours? 

Our bodies are not perfect, the images we see on tv or magazines are not real. We all have different shapes, experiences that contribute to who we are and our abilities and strengths.  

I’m truly grateful for my body. Is it perfect? No, but every wrinkle, every scar holds an experience that makes me who I am today. Self-care is my way of showing love and gratitude to my wonderful body. I’m in awe of all the incredible ways it takes me through the day. Its not just the obvious things like the movement of joints and muscles or the information from our senses, there are the thousands of systems and processes going on behind the scenes. Our body is forever removing toxins from our organs, digesting food and taking the nutrients, keeping us safe from infection and disease. There are so many amazing functions going on at any given time in the body. It is truly awesome. 

Showing our body self-love and gratitude for all it does every day to keep us functioning and healthy. 

You may already be very self-aware, or it could be there is more to understand. Perhaps spend some time with your body really connecting with it, marvelling at its beauty and all that it does for you, understanding its needs. Just observing and noticing to see what messages your body provides. What signals are there? 

What time in the morning does your body let you know its hungry? Perhaps with awareness you will know when to have your first meal of the day. If your body is tired, perhaps a full-on high intensity work out at the gym is not the right answer. A gentle walk or yoga session may be what the body yearns. Are there certain foods you eat; certain drinks you know mean you won’t feel so good the next day? Perhaps this is your bodies way of telling you not to eat or drink these things anymore?  

Its great to create some self-care habits based on the feedback from your body. How does your body feel when you drink enough water, eat nourishing foods, do practices to reduce stress, get enough sleep? Be curious and discover what supports your body in thriving. 

Just paying attention and allow your body to guide you.  

One practice that I love to do, and it always leave me feeling so full of self-love is a body gratitude practice. I started this practice a few years ago as I began to realise how my amazing body had coped with the surgeries, the chemicals and the radiotherapy. How it had healed and repaired itself after everything it went through. I’m sure there are many gratitude practices out there. This is the one I do. It feels intuitively the right one for me. It cultivates respect and gratitude for my body, it stops me from judgement by focusing on all the positive aspects.  

Body gratitude practice 

This is a practice I do in the shower or bath; you could do it anywhere really. I like that I’m naked and I can see all of me.  I found it tough to do

this at first. It didn’t feel natural. It has grown into one of my favourite practices. I soap myself with beautiful smelling oils and lotions, allowing acceptance, no expectation or judgement, just gratitude, I send love and thanks my body: 

Thank you brain you for all your curiosity, creativity, suggestions and ideas, for my sense of humour and for processing all that has happened to me.  

Thank you eyes for showing me the beauty in the world, the smiles of my loved ones, the words of my favourite book. For seeing clearly. 

Thank you ears for allowing me to hear the world today, the birdsong, my favourite music, the words ‘I love you’. 

Thank you mouth for the experience of taste, for the joy of delicious food and wine. The sensation of a kiss and the voice that sings. 

Thank you, heart for your strength, for pumping the blood and oxygen around my body. For your capacity to love and open to others. 

Thank you, lungs for the breath that keeps me alive, allowing me to breath in the air of nature, deep breaths when I exercise, the explosion of laughter. 

Thank you to my arms for their strength in carrying, lifting and in holding me and others tight. 

Thank you to my digestive system for taking the nutrients from my food to keep me healthy, for supporting my body’s health.  

Thank you skin for protecting and shielding my body from harm. For allowing me to feel the touch of another or the warmth of the sunshine.  

Thank you legs for carrying me throughout my day, for supporting me in running, walking, my yoga practice enabling me to travel and see the world. 

Thank you, body for all that you do to keep me healthy. I’m so grateful that you are my body. I send love and gratitude to every cell, every organ, every limb. All my body. 

Much love 

Jennifer 

‘Life is really very simple.

What we give out, we get back.

Every thought we think, is creating our future’.

Louise Hay

During my life, I have been drawn to learning about how intentions and affirmations impact our brain and everyday life. I’ve read hundreds of books, undertaken courses and attended talks and lectures. All of this leads me to understand that what we focus our attention on guides our lives in ways that are truly amazing.

What are affirmations?

They are positive phrases or statements spoken in the present tense that can be used to challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts and beliefs about yourself or your life. They can alter your unconscious thoughts and how your brain looks at your daily life. Repeated, they can replace negative self-talk and mean that you act in ways more likely to support the affirmation in becoming reality. So, affirmations can change the way you behave! These powerful words form a positive statement that can tap into your unconscious mind providing drive and motivation towards a desired outcome. There is MRI evidence suggesting changes to some of the neural pathways when people practice self-affirmation (Cascio et al., 2016).

The Science behind Affirmations: The brain looks for patterns.

So, here’s the science behind why affirmations can be so powerful. Our brain is continually seeking patterns to make sense of the world. Patterns allow the brain to take lots of information and make sense of it in the neocortex area which is the centre for our higher brain functions. Detecting patterns is an important part of how we learn and make decisions. The patterns that the brain seeks help us to impose meaning to every day and to fill in any blanks in the information to hand. It is a totally unconscious process and happens instantly. It is our brains way of creating meaning by constantly seeking and recognising patterns.

How is this information useful? Why would we use affirmations?

Knowing this means that we can consciously create patterns for the brain to latch onto. We are unaware of the unconscious way that our brain connects to patterns so we can create our own patterns to order our world and our daily lives. Our ability to easily make connections means that we can create a pattern for a brain to follow by repeating affirmations. It does need to be a continual process day after day to help the brain recognise the pattern. By continually repeating affirmations or mantras, we provide the patterns and the guidance to for our brain.

It does take a bit of effort. I used to write my affirmations on stick it notes and put them on my bathroom mirror so they were one of the first things I saw each morning. Affirmations can be thought, spoken or chanted and if repeated enough can change the way we think or act in a positive way. Consciously focusing on positive thoughts and affirmations, over time can replace any negative self-talk motivating us to move towards achievements or goals, change negative thinking patterns and replace them with positive ones.

Studies show that affirmations can reduce stress, help us achieve goals, increase our physical activity or eat more healthily, achieve better results, make us more resilient and more accepting of ourselves. They are also designed to encourage an optimistic outlook on life.

‘I am open to new and wonderful challenges,

Life brings me only good experiences‘

Louise Hay

How do we ensure that our affirmations are powerful?

After the cancer diagnosis, I wrote a couple of affirmations on a card that I carried in my purse. I looked at them both a few times every day. I also attached them to my bathroom mirror. One was focused on my body healing and repairing itself after all the surgery and treatment, the other was focused on my immune system being strong and protective of further disease. I wanted to be sure that I was thinking and saying my affirmations during the day every day. Some people put them as desktops on their PC or have them as a screen saver on their phone.

Practising positive affirmations can be extremely simple, all you need to do is decide on the words for your phrase and repeat it to yourself. Affirmations do require regular practice if you want to make lasting change to your life or the way that you feel.

Repeat your affirmations daily and truly believe the words you are saying. Become emotionally involved and start to see, hear and feel that the affirmation is true. What would your life be like if your affirmation was true? Live from the place of the affirmation.

Telling yourself that you are a beautiful and powerful women may feel a little strange at first and take some getting used to. You’ll be surprised at how quickly it becomes part of your daily routine and feels quite natural.

Starting you day with a 10-minute positive affirmation meditation can be very powerful. Just closing out the world, going inside and repeating your chosen affirmation again and again for 10 minutes. If your mind wonders, that’s OK, that’s what minds do. Just gently bring it back to repetition of your chosen affirmation.

Here are some affirmation examples. Create some of your own. Make sure that they have meaning for you.

I choose to be happy and fulfilled

I am happy and healthy

I am surrounded by love from my family and friends

I am strong and resilient

I decide how I feel

I accept and love myself

I am in control of my life

When I go to bed at night, I can relax knowing everything is as it should be

I can handle anything that comes my way

What other examples have you created?

Much Love

Jennifer